Inaccurate Number in News Graphic

Numbers are confusing for the average reader. They want a simple and easily understandable version of the numbers presented in the story.

Above is a graphic from the Chicago Tribune. The title of the graphic reads "$9.8 billion of bond money spend since 2000." However, when you add up the individual parts of the bond money, they total to $9.9 billion.

Numbers that don't add to what the reporter is reporting are troublesome for readers. Which number is trustworthy? Did the reporter do their job correctly? How much is our government actually spending?

Although a small error in addition, this miscalculation can leave readers second guessing the entire piece.

The full article for this story can be on the front page and Page 16 in the Nov. 3 issue of the Chicago Tribune.

Inaccurate Word Choice

It's always important to use the right word. Using the wrong word can often paint pictures of people that aren't entirely true.

In the example above, we see a suspect identified as a bandit. According to Merriam Webster's, a bandit is a criminal who attacks and steals from travelers and who is often a member of a group of criminals. 

The story states that the suspect, Jeffery A. Santucci, was charged with armed robbery, theft and unlawful use of a weapon while robbing a gas station in the town of Frankfort. 

It is incorrect to call Santucci a bandit. First, he did not steal from a group of travelers; a gas station is a fixed established beside a road that sells gasoline, oil and other products. Second, Santucci did not attack the gas station attendants. According to the story, he held the attendants at gun point but did not physically harm them in any way. Finally, we do not know that Santucci acted on behalf of a larger group of criminals. We only know that he acted alone. 

Calling Santucci a bandit paints an inaccurate picture of the crime. The reporter should change the use of bandit in their story to robber in order to match the crime Santucci committed in reality.

The full article for this story can be found on Page 9 in the Nov. 22 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Dangling Modifier

Modifiers enhance nouns, adjectives and verbs, often adding meaning and thoughtful description to sentences. However, when used incorrectly, modifiers can convolute the meaning of sentences.

In the example above, the phrase destroying a corn crib and causing heavy damage to his house does not modify anything in the sentence. The only word it could modify in the sentence is the subject, farm. This doesn't make much sense though. How could a farm destroy its own corn crib and damage the owner's home? What was its motive for that matter?

The implied subject of the sentence is the tornado that damaged the town of Wilton Center. The sentence should be rewritten as follows: Hansen's farm was hit by the tornado, which destroyed a corn crib and caused damage to his home. Replacing His with Hansen clarifies whose farm the sentence is talking about. Adding the phrase by the tornado clarifies that the tornado caused the damaged, not Hansen's farm.

The full article for this story can be found on Page 3 in the Nov. 22 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Dead Construction

Using as little space as necessary on the news page is essential. Not only does it allow room for more stories and advertisements to be published, but it ensures that journalists write in a concise and straightforward manner.

It's important to write sentences that have strong verbs and strong subjects. Dead constructions take these components away, making sentences longer than they need to be and taking up valuable space on the page.

Eliminating dead constructions eliminates useless clutter on the page while adding strength to sentences. Although dead constructions are hard to catch, they often begin with forms of it is and there is.  By eliminating these phrases, the power of the sentence can be switched back to the main verb of the sentence instead of the linking verb.

In the example above, a dead construction is used to start the sentence. There were should be removed from the sentence. Be removing this phrase, the power of the sentence shifts to the main verb picked. The sentence should be rewritten as follows: Ten semi-finalists picked public voting, and the public cast nearly 22,000 votes to get down to four finalists. 

The full article for this story can by found on Page 4 of the Nov. 29 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Lack of Editing

Reporters make mistakes. Whether it's a misspelled word or a wrong last name, editors are there to catch those pesky blunders.

In the example above, we see a simple typo that should have been caught. This can be fixed by adding the letter n to the end of the word know to make it the word known, putting it in the correct verb form.

The full article for this story can be found on Page 7 of the Nov. 25 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Lack of Parallelism

Subject-verb and antecedent agreement are important parts of effective writing. Harmony and grammatical agreement allow readers to move through a story without running into awkward phrasings. This type of agreement in sentence structure is called parallelism. 

In the example above, we see a sentence without parallel structure. The verbs (use, finds and keep) do not match forms and make for an awkward read. The way the sentence is written now also takes away the meaning of the sentence. 

In order to make the verb forms match and the sentence readily understood, it should read: "Unlike typical raffles, players use a portable touch screen, choose a number, find out if they have won instantly and decide if they would like to keep playing." 

The full article for this story can be found on Page 7 of the Nov. 24 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Wrong Pronoun

Pronouns are problematic. One way to know when to use a pronoun correctly is to know the difference between restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses.

A restrictive clause is one that is essential to the meaning of a sentence; however, a nonrestrictive clause is not essential to the full meaning of a sentence.

In the above example, which is used incorrectly. The phrase suffered severe structural damage is integral to the meaning of the sentence and is part of a restrictive clause. Without this phrase, the reader is left unsure why it is so important that the storm didn't occur an hour earlier.

The correct version of this sentence should read: Had the storm struck an hour earlier, there would have been 200 people in the sanctuary that suffered severe structural damage. The use of that in this sentence instead of which lets readers know if the storm had occurred an hour earlier, 200 people would have been injured because the sanctuary was severely damaged.

The full article for this story can be found in the Nov. 25 issue of Joliet's Herald News.

Stereotypical Reference

It's unfortunate when stereotypes slip into the news. As journalists, we have a responsibility and obligation to make ethical decisions. We need to take into account the sensitivity of our sources and audiences by using careful, accurate, thoughtful and appropriate language.

Avoiding stereotypes is an essential part of every journalists' ethical decision making process. Including sexist, racist, homophobic or any stereotypical references in our writing not only misinforms our audience, but it also reinforces stereotypical behavior that members of our audience already harbor.

The excerpt above is from an article in the Joliet Herald News about Illinois gubernatorial candidate Bruce Rauner.

Rauner is a former chairman of two Chicago-based,  private equity firms. He is running for governor and is funding his own campaign with the money he made throughout his career. Many Chicago-land news outlets have began to compare him with other wealthy Illinois residents who have also tried funding their our gubernatorial campaigns.

The problem with the excerpt above is its generalization of Rauner. The reporter generalizes all millionaires and former CEO's, making it seem that they are unfit for public office.

It is wrong publish a story such as this without interviewing Rauner about his campaign. No quotes from Rauner are given in the story and the audience is led to believe that he is the stereotypical businessman who cares only about his personal interests.

The full article for this story can found in Nov. 25 issue of Joliet's Herald News or online at the Chicago Sun-Times' website. 

Where is the News?

The news peg is an integral part of any news story. It tells the reader why it is important to him at this moment in time. Whether it's a natural disaster or a politician's drug addition, the reader should know why they are reading a particular story. Without a news peg, a news story amounts to nothing.

The above excerpt is the first sentence of a Huffington Post article titled "'Evolution Of Life On Earth' VIDEO: 4.5-Billion-Year History Compressed Into Two Minutes."

No recent scientific data is presented nor is any new information on the history of life. The only newsworthy information about the article is the fact that a new YouTube video was made.

A hyperlink to this article placed within an article relating to a new species being discovered, or any scientific discovery for that matter, would make this article much more effective. It would give readers an idea of how long life has been around and point to the importance of scientific research and discovery.

The full article for this story can be found on Huffington Post's website.

Unnecessary Passive Voice

Voice refers to the form a verb takes when writing a sentence. A verb can either be in an active or passive form. Active form occurs when the subject performs the action. Passive form occurs when the person or thing performing the action becomes the object of the sentence.

Although there is nothing grammatically wrong with writing in the passive voice, active voice is preferable when writing news. Passive voice can easily confuse the reader and leave them wondering who did what to whom. Active voice informs readers of the action in the order it happened.

In the example above, we see an example of unnecessary passive voice. "Just minutes before the plane was to depart, he was removed from the flight by North Korean authorities, the family has said."

In this sentence, the writer places the actor of the sentence (North Korean authorities) behind the recipient of the action (Newman). Newman is having the action (removed) performed on it by the actor (North Korean authorities). This is a prime example of unnecessary passive voice.

In order to make this sentence easier for readers to digest, we can rewrite it in the active voice. "North Korean authorities removed Newman from the flight just minutes before the plane was to depart, the family has said."

In this form, readers know who did what to whom in the order it happened. This full article for this story can be found on CNN's website.

Misused Semicolon

Semicolons are tricky. They are often used to connect clauses rather than keeping independent clauses. It's a good rule of thumb to avoid using semicolons in media writing. It is often more effective to use a coordinating conjunction and a comma because it gives more specific direction to the reader that the two clauses connect ideas.

In the above excerpt, we see the incorrect use of a semicolon. In this sentence, it is used to join two independent clauses. The problem is that the two independent clauses have no relation. The semicolon complicates the meaning of the sentence and doesn't offer the reader any additional clarity.

In this sentence, the two independent clauses should stand alone. "Troy Craughwell Elementary School will celebrate the day with the posting of colors by representatives of Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. Veterans of relatives of staff and students have also been invited to attend school for the day."

The use of semicolon does not offer any clarification about the colors that will be post or the representatives from Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. Separating the two clauses clarifies to readers that colors will be posted in the school by representatives from Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery, and veterans of staff and students will attend school for the day.

The full article can be found in the Nov. 8 issue of Joliet's Herald-News.

Error of Fact

It's hard to get the story right sometimes, especially if it's still developing. This holds true for the devastation surrounding recent Typhoon Haiyan. The details of the storm have been difficult to report and that is readily apparent across the news media.

This is an excerpt from a CNN article regarding how many people "were driven out of their homes."

Here is an excerpt from an NBC article also regarding the number of people "forced from their homes."

It is understandable at this point in time that news organizations do not have an actual, agreed-upon number of people who were affected by the storm. Since this is the case though, what is purpose of reporting a number at all? More and more readers get their information from a multitude of sources these days and they can easily be lead to confusion if the numbers aren't matching across news media.

Here are four additional fact errors regarding the wind speed of Typhoon Haiyan:

So, what was the actual wind speed? How many people were affected by the storm? I guess we will wait and see.

Full articles for these stories can be found on the Washington Post's website, the New York Times' website, NBC's website and CNN's website.

Lack of Agreement

Sometimes it's difficult to know when to use the right word. This is especially true when dealing with different verb tenses.

In the sentence highlighted above, we see the incorrect use of the word have. In this example, using the word have indicates that the noun of the sentence, St. Francis, is plural. This is incorrect because St. Francis, used in this sentence, refers to the St. Francis cross-country team. Since there is only one team, the main noun of the sentence, St. Francis, must be singular.

Additionally, the word have, used in this way, indicates that the entire sentence has happened in the past; have is in the past tense here. We know, by reading the rest of the article, this must be incorrect. The St. Francis cross-country team is the No. 1-ranked team in the nation.

The word has should replace the word have to correct this sentence. Has puts the sentence in the correct verb tense, the present perfect. The St. Francis team still holds the number one position in the nation, therefore the sentence must reflect that distinction.

The full article can be found on page 33 in the Nov. 8 issue of Joliet's Herald-News.

Where is My Verb?

Writers often misplace information. In this case, the main noun is too far from the main verb. This can easily lead readers to confusion and force them to re-read the sentence.

The main noun in this sentence, Richard Overton, is too far from the main verb, accepted. The most important information of this sentence states that Overton is believed to be the oldest living United States veteran. This information should not be included in an appositive phrase; it more than strong enough to stand alone.

The sentence can be split into two thoughts: "Richard Overton is believed to be the oldest living United States veteran at 107. With a humble demeanor and a beaming smile, he accepted a box of cigars and a standing ovation Thursday at a pre-Veterans Day ceremony in downtown Austin." 

The full article can be found here.

Cliche

Writers tend to use cliches out of desperation. Whether it's a time crunch to hit deadline or pure laziness, cliches should be avoided at all costs. Cliches are overused phrases that readers are immune to reading. They are unoriginal and uninteresting.

This headline from the Chicago Tribune uses a version of the cliche phrase "fly under the radar." The article is about a sushi restaurant in downtown Chicago that is struggling to get people through their doors.

Instead of using a cliche that readers have seen countless times before, a new headline should be written. Something along the lines of "Unknown sushi delivers big flavor" could have been used to better entice readers' interests.

The full article can be found on the front page of section five in The Chicago Tribune's Nov. 7 issue.